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I made the decision not to have those things when I married a non-member. Drinkers tend to rely on drink before they can have fun. But marriages don't last if you have to hold back ugly, sarcastic comments when your partner attends religious services or defends religious beliefs. That means that we are always changing and growing. She will introduce you to the church. Ask questions, try to find out as much as you can. Communicate and get those answers, OP. After all, when he IS around, he never makes them do anything they don't want to do, and he buys them expensive things to make up for being absent from their lives so much. Honestly, unless you want to convert and: And, if she does claim those things don't matter, be prepared to find out how much they really do after you've married her. Of course, your parents will care most.